From a cellphone conversation I overheard recently: “He is nice guy, but he takes too much on him and cannot finish anything”
Many books I read and many discussion I had with people are leading me to this interesting paradox. It’s not the evil people that are screwing up this world. It’s the confused good people that are messing it up.
There was a sociological study referenced in a book I read. It was about the alcoholics and their spouses. The study tracked addiction recovery of a large number of people. It concluded that the alcoholic men whose wives threw them out for doing physical or verbal abuse were far more likely to recover sooner than the men whose wives tolerated the abuse and constantly played angel. The angel wives were neither helping their husband, nor they were helping themselves. It made total sense, people need to be confronted and hold responsible for their actions. Otherwise they have no incentive to improve.
And how about overprotective mothers? Indian epic Ramayana. The step-mother of Rama wanted to banish him so that she could make her son a king. It wasn’t that he hated Rama. She just loved her son more and trying to do something nice, even though unjust, resulted in a tremendous pains for Rama.
Coming back to the cellphone conversation quoted above, some people take too much on them just because they cannot say no. They love their “helpful guy or girl” self image too much to part with it even if it is right thing for everyone. Ultimately they end up helping no one.
Most wars are launched by people who have fallen in so much love with their idea of peace that they are not willing to tolerate any risk, even imaginary. Most unproductive (or least value contributing) employees in an organization are not the ones who are not motivated, but the ones who are so motivated that they have hard time stopping themselves from taking more work. Most blatant aggression in this world is shown by not testosterone driven males, but by mothers who are overprotective of their children.
More harm in this world is done by passionate angels than by cruel demons. Thus, God, save me from angels.